Fearless in 2015

I started out this new year asking God for a word for 2015. I heard “Fearless” and thought, “ok, cool, I can work on that” having no idea of the things to come.

Webster defines fearless as: not afraid, very brave, bold, courageous, dauntless, gallant and heroic. 

Urban dictionary uses this definition “Strong willed. Heart of gold. Beautiful inside and out. Able to push through the storms of a shattered heart, broken spirit and tattered body emerging twice as graceful and independent than before. A truly gifted woman with a gorgeous soul and a dreamers spirit.”

I also began studying the book of Joshua in January and repeatedly saw the phrase, “Be strong and courageous.”

Everything was great, calm and comfortable… then 3-4 months ago I began to feel like God was telling us to sell our home. David has been going to Tyndale Bible College for the last two years to get a degree in missions. I was sure that some changes were probably coming after graduation, however, neither of us knew exactly what they would be. Every time I would stress and ask David what we were going to do, he would tell me to wait and trust that God would work things out when he finished school (this was not the immediate answer that I wanted). 

We have talked for years about Davids’ dream of starting a non profit Ranch & Retreat center for missionaries and pastors (to get some much needed time away with their families) as well as wanting to be more involved with our friends and their ministry in Kenya, but we had no idea how these things were going to become a reality.

When David came home after work one day, very discouraged about the direction his 14 year career with the local electric company has been going, I told him about how I felt God was showing me that we could sell the house in order to follow our dreams. I ran the numbers and with selling our home and cutting expenses, David would be able to leave his job and we could live off of our photography companies income. We prayed and talked about it for a couple days and both agreed that we should contact a realtor. We listed the house the following Monday, had multiple offers above asking price, and accepted one that Saturday. During the week, I also found the perfect apartment within our budget, that just so happened to be on sale that month only. 

David and I have always told God that everything we owned belonged to Him, but selling our home and so many of our things in order to downsize was surprisingly difficult. Honestly, when we signed the lease at the apartment and during the first week that we moved in, we cried a couple times. I still cannot bring myself to drive by our old home, but I have seen God working out all of the details and know that we will not regret following God’s leading and going after our dreams in the years to come. 

The whirlwind of changes led me to questioning my heart and motives. Do I really trust that God will continue to provide the work that we need in order to live? Will He come through for us? Is He really good?  I was afraid, but after prayer and reflection on how God has always been there for me, I can answer these questions with a definite yes! He does care about each individual person. He will never leave us or forsake us. He loves us! God has been teaching me that He is more concerned about a persons heart and maturity than any occupation, social status or material belongings.  

I am not suggesting that everyone needs to sell their homes, but I do know that I have genuine peace for the first time in my life. I have looked my fears in the face and replaced them with faith that God is leading us and will continue to work out all the details.

Now, exactly two months to the date from moving into our apartment, we are heading back to Kenya: My favorite place in the whole world. I am expectant that God will show up and show us some amazing things during this journey. 

If you are still reading this, would you please take a moment to pray for David and I! Please pray that God will work in and through us while we are in Kenya and also when we return; that God will  provide the work that we need and wisdom in moving forward with David leaving his job to pursue what we feel God is leading us towards.

The phrase “Do not be afraid” is written in the Bible 365 times. That’s a daily reminder from God to live every day being fearless. God is still working on me, but I wholeheartedly suggest that you take the time to evaluate your fears and give them to God. He turns fears into faith!

Love~ Kim